Twilight must be mocked/hated on; do so here.

Other Discussion Battleground
#1

Post any comments or pics hating on/mocking twilight or its fans here. Like the Kira hating thread, this one arises from another thread that we almost thread jacked.

Twilight is utterly retarded.

The books are horrible by literary standards (Zombie Freyr’s and my literature professor in college once allowed the class to mock it for about five to ten minutes after someone made the mistake of suggesting the book series to her).

It’s a pretty simplistic abstinence message.

Vampires that sparkle in the sunlight!?! WTF. Please, Buffy, just come back and slay these emo idiots for us.

The movies feature a bunch of pretty people who can’t act; Robert Downey Jr., while stoned, can out act all of them (well to be fair, RDJ can outact much better actors than the twilight cast, even when he’s stoned).

Twilight boils down to a choice between necrophelia and bestiality.

Its fans are a bunch of idiot pseudo-goths/emo twits. On that note, I’d like to lock a couple of real goths (armed with bladed weapons) in a small room with twilight movies and some twitards for a week, just to see what would happen. :twisted:

I have a bunch of demotivational pics mocking twilight, and I’ll post them later.

#2

There are no vampires in Twilight… Only sparkle fairies.

It’s not a real vampire movie if Blade’s not in it.

Seriously. I hate Twilight almost as much as I hate Justin…sorry, Justine Beiber.
It is truly a disgrace to Vampire kind (I should know, after all, I am one… jk, I’m just allergic to the sun… no seriously I am.)

I had made fun of it for the longest time without seeing the movies or reading the books, and finally I decided to watch the first movie just so I could know what I was talking about. After 30 mins of mind numbing nothingness, I shut it off. What was I thinking? I didn’t need to watch that to make fun of it! It did a fantastic job of that itself!! I felt as though I had lost more than half of my brain cells just watching the first 30 mins of it. Who’s brilliant idea was it to have them stare at each other for ALMOST THE ENTIRE MOVIE??? Whoever thought that was genius needed to have their face melted off by a firing squad of Kshatriya’s Funnels.

After watching that I went back and watched the 4th Harry Potter movie just so I could see Robert Patterson DIE!

Leave Vampires and werewolves to the professionals…Blade, Underworld, and Bram Stoker.

On a side note, True Blood is just as retarded.

I’ll have more to add on this rant later.

#3

Buffy needs to stake Edward Cullen. Scratch that. Between Buffy, Willow, Angel, Spike, and Illyria every single boring, dumb ass “character” (I use that term loosely in this case) within Twilight could be slaughtered. Buffy could stake Edward, Willow could flay Bella, I’m sure Illyria could kill dog boy (forgot his name and don’t really care) in some wicked awesome way. Angel and Spike could kill the rest as Sweet influences everyone into bursting into song. It would be fun.

#4

Forgot about angel and his epic badassery. But zeta, why would you need to spike edward? He’s not a vampire, so you could just kill him any old way. Maybe like a baseball bat to a disco ball kind of way lol. You’d get the same result.

#5

Staking is classic, but Buffy could always rip Edward’s head off and shove it up his ass if you want something different. :slight_smile:

#6

Soap: “So, Edward eats the baby out of her uterus? And everyone’s okay with that?”
Price: “Just wait till you get to the part where everyone’s got superpowers, they stand around talking for 70 pages, and nobody fights. That’s a great way to end a book series.”

Look up the Twilight Modern Warfare 2 spoof by Xplay.
In fact, here’s a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miawLu_ScMI

#7

I really agree with GNZ and all other Twilight haters. The movie is nothing but a disgrace to fantasy romance or fantasy creatures themselves. You could replace all the actors with good ones and it would still suck.

Movies like Van Hellsing and the original Dracula are some of the best movies and when people keep making dumb, numb minded, failure movies with vampires and werewolves, it only undermines what the real backround on these fantastic creatures are. What next, are there going to be unicorns? Please don’t butcher the meaning of so many glorious creatures.

And if they did disgrace the unicorn, or the pegasus, or the pegacorn, I would 1: never watch Gundam Unicorn again, and 2: hate people for liking the lies and pathetic outputs of the movie.

Twilight needs to die and actually look up the history on vampires and werewolves. You don’t have freak orgasms when your bitten by a vampire, they don’t always have to be “attractive” (both actor sides in Twilight just have abs, that does not make them attrcative, they are both f**king ugly), vampires sizzle and catch flame in sunlight, not sparkle like a fairy, and werewolves cannot morph at will, only at full moon.

My rant ends here. Twilight is terrible, will always be terrible, and needs to end. Period.

#8

How dare you insult Twilight? It’s an excellent song by ELO that doesn’t deserve anywhere near the hate it gets.

#9

Brent, you have lost coolness points.

#10

Welp, that’s what I get for trying to be funny when I don’t have an ounce of humor in me.

But seriously, Twilight is a great song, and ELO is an awesome band (orchestra?).

#11

Wait…you were being sarcastic? I feel stupid now…

#12

Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn’t it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can’t tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.

#13

Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn’t it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can’t tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.[/quote]

Most of the time they’re just idiots. I still dunno why the entirety of 4chan doesn’t raid the cancer board /soc/.

Oh holy crap. Girlfriend made me sit through Eclipse two days ago. How the HELL is that good acting? At some point there where these four “super powerful vampires” or something, I wasn’t following, but I swear they all just looked like dramatically gothic teenagers who hate their parents and friends and started smoking at 13 because it made them a rebel.

#14

Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn’t it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can’t tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.[/quote]

Umm, I turned 20 dude lol

#15

Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn’t it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can’t tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.[/quote]

Umm, I turned 20 dude lol[/quote]
Whoops, my bad. Mistake on my part there.

SilverFrameAstray, you should make your girlfriend sit through Hellsing Ultimate.

#16

Haha, it’s alright, there are plenty of things I make her sit through in return. I might make her sit through the remake of Dawn of the Dead with me. I love that movie, and we both love zombies, but she doesn’t like scary/thriller/gory movies.

#17

Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn’t it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can’t tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.[/quote]

Most of the time they’re just idiots. I still dunno why the entirety of 4chan doesn’t raid the cancer board /soc/.

Oh holy crap. Girlfriend made me sit through Eclipse two days ago. How the HELL is that good acting? At some point there where these four “super powerful vampires” or something, I wasn’t following, but I swear they all just looked like dramatically gothic teenagers who hate their parents and friends and started smoking at 13 because it made them a rebel.[/quote]

Poor SFA, I pity you now.

#18

Found this demotivational pic on the net. It speaks for itself. Yet another reason to hate on twilight.

#19

Ha! That’s funny right there!

#20

Found this one too.