Mobile Suit Gundam ATLAS

General Gundam Fan Fiction
#1

Hello Gundam Forums Its been some time since Ive shown this work in Progress for some time.

First a little background: As I may or may not have stated before, I LOVE to draw. and when I was just 13 and I just barely learned to draw Anime or manga style characters. On my way into the 8th grade I was a pretty decent artist for my age.(but I still sucked :p) I started drawing gundams because I was Obsessed with it. My parents suggested I do something with my artwork. It was my good friend Kevin suggested I start a comic book just to improve my skills.
And It did, I made a short 37 page story about 5 guys who were sent to earth from the colonies for a guys retreat.( just realized how gay that sounds :s) anyway long story short they get drafted into the military and blah blah blah War with gundams…

I HAD NO IDEA what I was doing or how things worked. I look back and shutter about the Awful times in middle school.

so I realized later how stupid the story was so I tried again this time rewriting the story and each time the sort Improved MORE AND MORE. and so did the artwork.
However things turned for the worse when I became a sophmore and i almost flunked out of high school because I wasn’t focusing on my studies. also the school I was in was too small and overcrowded. another local high school had burned down and then crammed 25,000 students into this school made for 4000. I would have been lost in the crowd of students just trying to graduate. So I gave up on the story.

It wasn’t until my Junior year I transferred to another school across town. but there I took a screenwriting class. after thinking long and hard I decided to start the story up again. It went through several dozen revisions again. but in My 3D animation class I perfected the design to my Protagonists Gundam.
I wrote a 350+ page script for the class and got a B- for my final :confused:
my teacher thought it was good but it was just “TOO DAMN LONG”
I continued working on it in my free time but my studies took main priority.
I graduated back in 2006 and the gundam story was put on the shelf.
after screwing up in college in 07 I returned home and served a mission for my church and I was sent to Milwaukee Wisconsin and in the FRICKIN cold winters i had very little to do. so I decided to try the story again. I sat in my apartment for 3 weeks straight of subzero temperatures(-49 F to -26 F) and “drew my brains against the wall…”
II didn’t have my regular materials, just a pencil paper and my wandering imagination. we didn’t have a tv so my focus was souly on this “Comic”
In 2009 I returned home and started attending college again, and I was reunited with my friends. I showed them the 100 page draft I made and They offered input and I came Up with the story That I will be posting in JUST A bit (I’m Currently Babysitting My sisters kids so I don’t have my stuff with me, So i will attempt to rehearse it to you on the NEXT post)

So Please Sit down “stay a while and Listen…” and I will tell you the Story Ive been working on.

This Is

GUNDAM ATLAS

#2

Gundam ATLAS

Back Story:

The Year is 2074 and the western Powers, The United States and NATO just ended a long bloody war with Venezuela, Peru, Cuba and Columbia. what many would come to call the “Rainforest wars.”(2053-2065) the war was a desperate attempt to seize oil in South America. with these newfound resources. It was also a technological weapons breakthrough. the Development of the Mobile Suit. The United States and European Union were now able to relaunch it’s respective space programs and began to bring large Asteroids to the Earth lock them in Orbit and harvest them for resources. the Economy stabilized in the western hemisphere and things were looking bright after the war.

However in the east The Chinese military has begun open conquest on the Nations of the Eastern hemisphere. the Main Players are China, Russia, India, Pakistan, Iran,North Korea, the old soviet satellites, and the middle eastern Nations.
China’s goal is conquest and to obtain as much land as possible and to seize the natural resources and Industrial centers to venture into the new age.
Russia’s goal is mainly self defense and to keep its public view as the Most powerful Nation in the east and to try and retake its conquered land. They are currently allied with Kazakhstan and Georgia.
India, also is to keep itself from being conquered. however due to the High tensions between India and Pakistan. mostly religious prejudice. the tensions escalated into full war on both chinese and Indian/Pakistani fronts.
Iran fearing it too would be steamrolled by the Vast chinese army and undoubtably be stripped for its resources. It tried to ally itself with the other nations of the middle east. however the midst of unification civil war broke out between the Arab nations.
North Korea, Currently allied with the Chinese Empire wreaked havoc on The Russian Federation. it holds a hidden agenda to conquer Japan and South Korea.
all other countries in between have been caught in the fray and have simply desolved. Nepal, Mongolia, Vietnam, Burma, act.

The whole continent of asia was at war, with the exception of Japan and South Korea who are still under the protection of the United states. by treaty.
The Western Super powers(USA, European Union Africa, and Australia)
are keeping out of the war because they know the war will escalate and possibly lead to Nuclear war. It was also that peoples moral was low because of the latest war.

Tensions are high, every nation fears Nuclear weapons will be used. however the war has proceeded for 10 years no nuclear weapons have been used the focus has been primarily mobile Suit and standard warfare.
(side note: this Asian War started in 2065)

However, there exists in the shadows of this chaotic war, an organization that operates outside of any government confinds or political ties. It is privately funded and organized. this shadow army operates to keep the war from escalating out of control.
Its Name is ATLAS
and much like the myth they are named after, They Literally Have the world on their shoulders. They operate with State of the Art technology, Cloaking devices, Rail guns, and Fusion Reactors.
But its crowning achievement is the Development of the Gundam
a high mobility mobile suit with a unique alloy secretly mined from a asteroid in orbit.
this alloy makes the mobile suit virtually indestructible. and its surprisingly light.

…

Sorry guys thats all I can write right now I have Much more but its on my computer at home. I’ll keep you posted. stay tuned in about a day or two when I can get to my archive at home. I have several things I need to scan and upload and you can see my characters and the comic I drew and I would LOVE to get feedback.

These are my characters names and the names of the Mecha

(Protagonists)
ATLAS

Dakota Hawkins
Polaris Gundam

Dmitri Rachmaninoff
Sirius Gundam

“Trace”
Procyon Gundam

Miranda Adrial
Supercarrier Orion

SOUTH AMERICAN Militia
(Villians)

Jerrik Rojas
Vega Gundam

Russian Federation

Mikial Arkov

those are the names of my main characters Tell me what you think if you wish.

#3

Ive got to admit it: you have some raw talent here. i like the back story, i like the way the story takes on a OO Esque feel to it (i hope that is not an insult) but its very unique. i trust we will see more you your talents. i also love the names of the mecha, your going with a kind of either a star theme. i love it thus far and its feel. but my question is are you gonna go with the traditional writing or script styling (see my fic to see what im talking about)? anyway, welcome aboard the fanfic bandwagon lol

#4

Oh come on! Vega Gundam is a bad guy suit?! First Vega from Street Fighter, now this? This giving my last name a bad name. I feel depressed.

#5

hey cut the lad some slack besides its in its prototype stages (if im not mistaken lol) hell find a more badass name. and hey this is Gundam, lives are lost and alliances change Vega may turn into a badass good guy Gundam lol

#6

Good point. Can’t wait to see what happens. Also, I’m starting to write my own Gundam novel. You’ll see bits of Zeta, Wing, Star Wars, Halo, and Code Geass.

#7

Ive got to admit it: you have some raw talent here. i like the back story, i like the way the story takes on a OO Esque feel to it (i hope that is not an insult) but its very unique. i trust we will see more you your talents. i also love the names of the mecha, your going with a kind of either a star theme. i love it thus far and its feel. but my question is are you gonna go with the traditional writing or script styling (see my fic to see what im talking about)? anyway, welcome aboard the fanfic bandwagon lol

Thanks Bro, I started reading your Fanfic last night as well, however I was just too dang tired to finish it. Busy day. HOWEVER I LIKE WHAT I READ!

  • But y’know whats funny is that I haven’t seen 00 when i started this story. and when I came home from Wisconsin I watched it online and nearly had an aneurism. because of how close the stories were. subtle differences for sure, but I decided sure I’ll continue it, primarily its to help improve my drawing skills.
#8

Best of luck to ya, you’ve got a solid AU premise down! Can’t wait to read more.

#9

(Taken down for personal reasons)

#10

Not bad…Not bad at all, like ive said, you have some raw talent. it needs a little polishing but in time it will be sharp. and like ive said before i trust we will see more of your talents in the near future.

#11

Thank you! If possible Id like some pointers on how to “polish” it, what would you do to make it better?
and Now! Pictures!

#12

sadly individual writing style, like weilding a sword, handleing a gun, or piloting a Gundam, is an individuals technique, it takes practice and pacing. when i mean polishing, i mean that it will take some more buffing it out. but there is one peice of advice if your interested.

#13

(Taken down for personal reasons)
(This Kills me for doing this.)

#14

NOW THATS IMPRESSIVE!!! i may need to comish you on helping me with my mecha designs (i have a general idea of what they are but THIS changes everything!)

#15

(Taken down for personal reasons)
(This Kills me for doing this.)

#16

(Taken down for personal reasons)
(This Kills me for doing this.)

#17

(Taken down for personal reasons)
(This Kills me for doing this.)

#18

Thanks again. yeah i know my writing style is pretty awful. :frowning: but hey I’m trying. As I stated, My goal is better drawing. if you give me some pointers on my story I will gladly Exchange and draw up some designs for your fanfic as well. but dont expect anything too soon. Classes are murdering me right now with work. But i do love a chance to draw, besides It’ll give me something better to do with my free time.

#19

i love this, and my personal favorite by far has got to be the Vega…and i havent read your work yet! as for my advice. if you want to cut to the chase, use Script style. its alot easier and your not pressured to apply the ol “and then he said, (dialogue)” nonsense. the Script style also helps for writers who just want to get their ideas out. and the best advice: dont think novel, think tV series, thats how the idea to make my fic in this style came into being. give the mecha designs, character profiles, use actions, etc. if you want to use a template for script style, just use my fanfic as an example of Script style. PM me if you have any questions. Looking forward to seeing your fic, you have some incredible talent, along with the other writers lol. and we look forward to welcoming your Fanfic to the pantheon.

#20

Ok, I’ll give it a shot, I’m gonna post my main characters first and write the story in the format you described. and post pics of the other characters as i go along. since its martin Luthur king day tomorrow i may have a lot of time to post More stuff.