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View Full Version : Twilight must be mocked/hated on; do so here.



Zeta-G
November 5, 2010, 8:48 PM
Post any comments or pics hating on/mocking twilight or its fans here. Like the Kira hating thread, this one arises from another thread that we almost thread jacked.

Twilight is utterly retarded.

The books are horrible by literary standards (Zombie Freyr's and my literature professor in college once allowed the class to mock it for about five to ten minutes after someone made the mistake of suggesting the book series to her).

It's a pretty simplistic abstinence message.

Vampires that sparkle in the sunlight!?! WTF. Please, Buffy, just come back and slay these emo idiots for us.

The movies feature a bunch of pretty people who can't act; Robert Downey Jr., while stoned, can out act all of them (well to be fair, RDJ can outact much better actors than the twilight cast, even when he's stoned).

Twilight boils down to a choice between necrophelia and bestiality.

Its fans are a bunch of idiot pseudo-goths/emo twits. On that note, I'd like to lock a couple of real goths (armed with bladed weapons) in a small room with twilight movies and some twitards for a week, just to see what would happen. :twisted:

I have a bunch of demotivational pics mocking twilight, and I'll post them later.

GNzaku0023
November 5, 2010, 9:41 PM
There are no vampires in Twilight.... Only sparkle fairies.

It's not a real vampire movie if Blade's not in it.

Seriously. I hate Twilight almost as much as I hate Justin....sorry, Justine Beiber.
It is truly a disgrace to Vampire kind (I should know, after all, I am one....... jk, I'm just allergic to the sun.... no seriously I am.)

I had made fun of it for the longest time without seeing the movies or reading the books, and finally I decided to watch the first movie just so I could know what I was talking about. After 30 mins of mind numbing nothingness, I shut it off. What was I thinking? I didn't need to watch that to make fun of it! It did a fantastic job of that itself!! I felt as though I had lost more than half of my brain cells just watching the first 30 mins of it. Who's brilliant idea was it to have them stare at each other for ALMOST THE ENTIRE MOVIE????? Whoever thought that was genius needed to have their face melted off by a firing squad of Kshatriya's Funnels.

After watching that I went back and watched the 4th Harry Potter movie just so I could see Robert Patterson DIE!

Leave Vampires and werewolves to the professionals....Blade, Underworld, and Bram Stoker.

On a side note, True Blood is just as retarded.

I'll have more to add on this rant later.

Zeta-G
November 5, 2010, 9:54 PM
Buffy needs to stake Edward Cullen. Scratch that. Between Buffy, Willow, Angel, Spike, and Illyria every single boring, dumb ass "character" (I use that term loosely in this case) within Twilight could be slaughtered. Buffy could stake Edward, Willow could flay Bella, I'm sure Illyria could kill dog boy (forgot his name and don't really care) in some wicked awesome way. Angel and Spike could kill the rest as Sweet influences everyone into bursting into song. It would be fun.

GNzaku0023
November 5, 2010, 10:01 PM
Forgot about angel and his epic badassery. But zeta, why would you need to spike edward? He's not a vampire, so you could just kill him any old way. Maybe like a baseball bat to a disco ball kind of way lol. You'd get the same result.

Zeta-G
November 5, 2010, 10:25 PM
Forgot about angel and his epic badassery. But zeta, why would you need to spike edward? He's not a vampire, so you could just kill him any old way. Maybe like a baseball bat to a disco ball kind of way lol. You'd get the same result.
Staking is classic, but Buffy could always rip Edward's head off and shove it up his ass if you want something different. :)

GNzaku0023
November 5, 2010, 10:53 PM
Soap: "So, Edward eats the baby out of her uterus? And everyone's okay with that?"
Price: "Just wait till you get to the part where everyone's got superpowers, they stand around talking for 70 pages, and nobody fights. That's a great way to end a book series."

Look up the Twilight Modern Warfare 2 spoof by Xplay.
In fact, here's a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miawLu_ScMI

ZeonPeon
November 5, 2010, 11:05 PM
I really agree with GNZ and all other Twilight haters. The movie is nothing but a disgrace to fantasy romance or fantasy creatures themselves. You could replace all the actors with good ones and it would still suck.

Movies like Van Hellsing and the original Dracula are some of the best movies and when people keep making dumb, numb minded, failure movies with vampires and werewolves, it only undermines what the real backround on these fantastic creatures are. What next, are there going to be unicorns? Please don't butcher the meaning of so many glorious creatures.

And if they did disgrace the unicorn, or the pegasus, or the pegacorn, I would 1: never watch Gundam Unicorn again, and 2: hate people for liking the lies and pathetic outputs of the movie.

Twilight needs to die and actually look up the history on vampires and werewolves. You don't have freak orgasms when your bitten by a vampire, they don't always have to be "attractive" (both actor sides in Twilight just have abs, that does not make them attrcative, they are both f**king ugly), vampires sizzle and catch flame in sunlight, not sparkle like a fairy, and werewolves cannot morph at will, only at full moon.

My rant ends here. Twilight is terrible, will always be terrible, and needs to end. Period.

Brent
January 18, 2011, 12:44 PM
How dare you insult Twilight? It's an excellent song by ELO that doesn't deserve anywhere near the hate it gets.

GNzaku0023
January 18, 2011, 2:02 PM
Brent, you have lost coolness points.

Brent
January 18, 2011, 2:05 PM
Welp, that's what I get for trying to be funny when I don't have an ounce of humor in me.

But seriously, Twilight is a great song, and ELO is an awesome band (orchestra?).

GNzaku0023
January 18, 2011, 2:08 PM
Wait...you were being sarcastic? I feel stupid now....

Brent
January 18, 2011, 2:12 PM
Wait...you were being sarcastic? I feel stupid now....
Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn't it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can't tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.

SilverFrameAstray
January 18, 2011, 4:05 PM
Wait...you were being sarcastic? I feel stupid now....
Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn't it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can't tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.

Most of the time they're just idiots. I still dunno why the entirety of 4chan doesn't raid the cancer board /soc/.

Oh holy crap. Girlfriend made me sit through Eclipse two days ago. How the HELL is that good acting? At some point there where these four "super powerful vampires" or something, I wasn't following, but I swear they all just looked like dramatically gothic teenagers who hate their parents and friends and started smoking at 13 because it made them a rebel.

GNzaku0023
January 18, 2011, 4:07 PM
Wait...you were being sarcastic? I feel stupid now....
Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn't it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can't tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.


Umm, I turned 20 dude lol

Brent
January 18, 2011, 4:09 PM
Wait...you were being sarcastic? I feel stupid now....
Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn't it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can't tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.


Umm, I turned 20 dude lol
Whoops, my bad. Mistake on my part there.

SilverFrameAstray, you should make your girlfriend sit through Hellsing Ultimate.

SilverFrameAstray
January 18, 2011, 4:13 PM
SilverFrameAstray, you should make your girlfriend sit through Hellsing Ultimate.

Haha, it's alright, there are plenty of things I make her sit through in return. I might make her sit through the remake of Dawn of the Dead with me. I love that movie, and we both love zombies, but she doesn't like scary/thriller/gory movies.

Zeta-G
January 19, 2011, 7:01 PM
Wait...you were being sarcastic? I feel stupid now....
Trying to discern sarcasm on the internet is a bitch, isn't it? Oftentimes on /m/, I can't tell if people are trolling or are just idiots.

By the way, congratulations on turning 19.

Most of the time they're just idiots. I still dunno why the entirety of 4chan doesn't raid the cancer board /soc/.

Oh holy crap. Girlfriend made me sit through Eclipse two days ago. How the HELL is that good acting? At some point there where these four "super powerful vampires" or something, I wasn't following, but I swear they all just looked like dramatically gothic teenagers who hate their parents and friends and started smoking at 13 because it made them a rebel.

Poor SFA, I pity you now.

Zeta-G
July 6, 2011, 4:08 PM
Found this demotivational pic on the net. It speaks for itself. Yet another reason to hate on twilight.

Zeta
July 6, 2011, 6:43 PM
Ha! That's funny right there!

Zeta-G
July 6, 2011, 7:15 PM
Found this one too.

Zeta
July 6, 2011, 7:18 PM
[laughs in the backround].

Zeta-G
July 6, 2011, 7:28 PM
More fun images:

Zeta-G
July 6, 2011, 8:23 PM
Here's the last of them (I have more, but they're not appropriate for this forum):

SilverFrameAstray
July 8, 2011, 5:32 PM
Hahaha those are great.

Twilight: A girl's choice between bestiality and necrophilia

Exia
July 8, 2011, 8:28 PM
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b77/dr34ms1nd1g1t4l/demo7.jpg

Not hate, though I do hate this series, but it's funny.

I'm rooting for the raptor.

squeam
July 8, 2011, 8:32 PM
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b77/dr34ms1nd1g1t4l/demo7.jpg

Not hate, though I do hate this series, but it's funny.

I'm rooting for the raptor.

Seen this before, but it made me lol again. "Clever girl." "SKREEEE!" "aargh!......gurgle gurgle"

GNzaku0023
July 8, 2011, 9:57 PM
Squeam, have I ever mentioned how much I love your sound effects?

Kenico
July 18, 2011, 1:44 AM
You mean to tell me that we can make fun of Twilight without any crazy-fan-girl screaming bloody murder?!! Dude, you guys are awsome!!!!! This is the best day of my life.lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol lollollollollollolhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahalo llollollollollollollolol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!smileyface.

Zeta-G
July 18, 2011, 3:14 AM
You mean to tell me that we can make fun of Twilight without any crazy-fan-girl screaming bloody murder?!! Dude, you guys are awsome!!!!! This is the best day of my life.lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol lollollollollollolhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahalo llollollollollollollolol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!smileyface.
Yes, you can mock and hate on twilight as much as you want here.

Kenico
July 18, 2011, 4:33 AM
oh Great! me and Ghost Shepperd (my brother)are gonna have a ball

Ghost shepperd
July 18, 2011, 6:27 AM
There is a certain place in hell for twilight.

Zeta-G
July 18, 2011, 10:59 AM
There is a certain place in hell for twilight.

Is it the special level of hell reserved for child molesters and the people who talk at the theatre?*
*Firefly reference

Kenico
July 18, 2011, 5:17 PM
Wait a minute! you dissin Firefly?!! now the movie sucked ill give you that but please for the love of everything good and holy dont diss firefly series dude! (its the place where SDGF lives LOL)

Zeta-G
July 18, 2011, 9:08 PM
Diss firefly? Me? Never. I was referencing a line Book said to Mal in the episode "Our Mrs. Reynolds".

Kenico
July 23, 2011, 8:55 PM
Never saw the scene ,but man i love firefly

Zeta-G
July 23, 2011, 9:42 PM
Back on topic, Edward sucks.

Kenico
July 23, 2011, 9:57 PM
yeah! so does the rest of the series!!!!

Zelite
December 26, 2011, 12:57 AM
So I was thinking of just trolling you guys, be all 'omg, y u h8 twilight so much?!'...but even thinking that as a joke makes me want to go bleach my brain.

I REALLY do not understand why most women love this literary piece of deuce.

My mom is a big fan..and I die a little every time she starts talking about it.

Give me Hellsing, give me D, but for all that's holy, (and unholy) keep that away from me.

Kenico
December 26, 2011, 1:18 AM
I Drink to that! Hey Wheres Able Nightroad in that list?

Zelite
December 26, 2011, 2:16 AM
I'll be honest. I have no idea who that is.

Kenico
December 26, 2011, 2:37 AM
youve never heard of Trinity Blood?

Zelite
December 26, 2011, 3:45 AM
Oh, yeah. I've heard of it, but never read/seen it.

Kenico
December 26, 2011, 5:38 AM
Well Able Night Road is the Main Protag. and trust me its awesome!

Zelite
December 26, 2011, 10:56 AM
Ah. I'll have to check it out sometime then.

DragoninDisguise
December 26, 2011, 11:06 AM
Concerning Twilight

The books are poorly written, with several grammar mistakes. The movies aren't as poorly written as the books, but they are still pretty bad, what with the simply terrible acting. Trust me, I know. I've seen Twilight three times, and New Moon twice.

Exia
March 21, 2012, 3:48 AM
I know I'm bringing back a dead topic, but this is the only Twilight I approve of....


http://youtu.be/CP4Lhe6E7YY

BobTD
June 15, 2012, 10:57 PM
A thread ripping on Twilight? Dont worry guys I got this:

So I read every book in the twilight series. I can honestly say as an avid book reader that I know a good book when I read it.

Every book in the series was terrible.

I want to stress again that I read them. Some parts were easier to read that others. But as a whole they were hard to read because of a few key points:

1. Bella was essentially a living doll. I dont mean that see was cute. I mean that see moved through the story drawn by strings and never possessed a will of her own. The writer gave no effort to developing her as a character, or giving Bella a role in directing her story or even displaying a remote sense of willpower.

2. They did give her an immediate response to the weighty decision to become a vampire. She simply spent 0.000001 of a second to decide that was for sure 100% what see wanted to do and that nothing would ever change her mind. Never a moment to consider the pros and cons. And naturally the author had to cop out and make her completely in control of her blood lust so that she would never compromise or question herself in a life altering way afterwards.

3. Another thing this series did was it managed to make vampires uncool. Im seriously impressed by this feat. The vampires were so uncool that statistically I think I read that emos were cutting their wrist's less because they did not want to be associated with these characters. Im almost certain that these "vampires" being near invulnerable sparkle faries was a kindness to the vampire image. People can claim they aren't related. But even still its going to turn intoone of those permanent stains that everyone tries to pretend never happened.

But dont get me wrong, the series won awards. However I like to imagine that these awards had something to do with the amazing feat of turning a daytime romance soap opera into a well advertised novel. They have the distinction of getting more brain dead people to take up reading (albeit for the worst possible romance drivel ever made).

And on a final note, I would like to consider how the series may have inspired hundreds of other writers, simply with its powerful effect of lowering everyones standards as a whole. If you want to read a good vampire book go find Vittorio, the Vampire by Anne Rice. (also I made up the emo wrist cutting statistic, haha, but really now I have to google it just to make sure its fake)

Strejda
December 27, 2012, 6:17 PM
I have nothing to say, that hasn't been said before, so just one thing:

Bella is one of the worst female protagonists in history of fiction. Not just that she's bland and stupid, she is just plain evil. She is selfish, manipulative, incompetent to do anything by herself, elitist, self-centered. And she doesn't have to suffer ANY consequences. In the end, everyone is happy, no sacrifices, no character development, she and Eddie can live happily ever after with their kid, who's going to get fucked by her werewolf uncle Jacob, who's gonna spend rest of his life as her slave. And bad guys are free to kill more innocent people, because Cullens don't give a fuck as long as it doens't involve them. That's what I call happy ending.

Ginga Bishōnen
March 30, 2013, 1:02 AM
I found this photo a couple weeks back. Glad I finally found a place to share it.

4665

PS its the actual actors who play the Saints. +1000 pts for them.

Kenico
March 30, 2013, 1:19 AM
My Response to this...ahem...

Im Kenico Nightwolf, and i aprove this Photo :D

jaster-jesek
March 30, 2013, 2:47 AM
I know I am late to this, but since someone bumped it...

To defend those who were addicted to the books, here are some considerations...

Over the 90s and early 00s, the concept of Vampire from being an analogy of contagious disease and the concept of a vicious predator that would go after people like a weasel goes after rabbits was transformed into a edgy, goth way to gain superpowers without any meaningful drawbacks while still being stylish by wearing black leather rather than colorful spandex tights. The transformation had been all but completed by the time Twilight came around anyway.

Moreover, as terrible as a concept Bella is... that sort of character is all but the norm for a protagonist in video games, comic books and particularly common in anime. Hell, the main protagonist in most anime isn't any better than Bella-- it is the characters around them that tend to be memorable, popular and famous. This is particularly true of harem animes (except for perhaps Ranma) where even secondary males who are meant to serve as easily dispatched rivals, i.e. examples of improper men to be dismissed by the heroes multiple love interests tend to be more popular than the main character.

In all these cases one generally gets protagonists with only the most sketchy of details who are guided around by the plot and who can act pretty blandly and normally while other characters act towards them in rather extreme manners, as though they are somehow aware that this is the "main protagonist" and so every man must hate or worship him and every woman must fall instantly impossibly in love with him and ignore every other male in the universe. All often without the protagonist doing much of anything out of the usual to distinguish himself from literally any other male on the planet.

In fact, this is true of most of the main protagonists of the Gundam series. How many of them had particularly memorable personalities? If they are ever liked, it tends to usually be because they are "the best" or the had the most "badass Gundam", but virtually never because of their actual character traits, the inner conflicts they were shown to overcome, their memorable charming personalities or their stylish and unique looks-- virtually all of that is reserved for side characters while the main protagonist is the most nondescript, average, dull, dark haired, dark eyed Japanese male possible who goes to where the plot dictates and has vast super powers greatly exceeding everyone else in the universe "just because". (I think Turn A was the only one that actively tried to undermine this trend and it turned out to be the least popular series ever.)

So... yeah... rabid hatred for Twilight? Perhaps because it is a gender reversal from the norm that everyone was so used to and was power wish fulfillment catered directly towards young women instead of young men for a change. I really wonder if the various flaws of the story could be patched up in such a way that wouldn't undermine that aspect of the stories.

Besides... you know... if the vampires in Twilight were considerably more like "proper" vampires-- Bella would actually have to be considerably more twisted, depraved, selfish and evil than she already is-- that would have certainly undermined the general purpose of the story.

Zappit
April 6, 2013, 10:56 PM
Returning after a long absence...saw this thread, and here's a comic I did awhile back.

http://i.imgur.com/KNDsCxB.jpg